Just Trust Him!

Been having an ongoing struggle trusting God and depending on my own strength. Tired of it, its been taking a toll on my whole life. Little sleep and lots of time spent on work, all in hope that i'll make it to somewhere in life next time. So many times i've sacrificed social gatherings, leisure church activities, and even my own personal development. All this while i've been doing what i thought should help me get somewhere, yet i'm not gaining any real returns. My communication skills are getting weaker, and i'm becoming more bitter by the realities of life. I'm tired of taking medicine to numb pain. Its ridiculous.

All this has to stop. Was talking to dad yesterday and he told me that i'm now on the other extreme end of the work scale. Once upon a time i was lazy, now i'm working so hard that he wants me to slow down. But apart from that, he stated very clearly that i'm not trusting God, i'm not taking time to talk and coverse with Him, and worse, i absolutely have no faith in Him. He said that although i'm putting in like 200%, its only producing like 110% results. Why am i so inefficient? Its because i'm working with tenancity and determination, but i'm not working with God's wisdom. And that's why i can never reach the DF standard, which is 100% efficiency ( Efficiency = Result/Effort) This has got to stop, and i have to trust God that he will help me excel in all areas.

I was reading Daniel today, and how he prayed in light of death, when Kind Nebuchadnezzer wanted to sentence all the wise men to death because they could not narrate the dream to them ( which sounds ridiculous, who can read another person's mind). Now, do note that Daniel is a damn smart guy, he is the best of the best ( see Chapter 1 (V4 - young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king's palace) , yet when facing execution by the King's guard, he did not panick, but he instead he asked for time (with TACT0, and then used it to cry out to God. This has thought me two important lessons:

1) As christians, we are required to say things with tact even in the worst situations
2) Rule no. 1 , always cry out to God for help

V19 -Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. 18 He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that he and his friends might not be executed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon. 19 During the night the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision. Then Daniel praised the God of heaven 20 and said:
"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;
wisdom and power are his.

21 He changes times and seasons;
he sets up kings and deposes them.
He gives wisdom to the wise
and knowledge to the discerning.

22 He reveals deep and hidden things;
he knows what lies in darkness,
and light dwells with him.

23 I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers:
You have given me wisdom and power,
you have made known to me what we asked of you,
you have made known to us the dream of the king."

Which smart guy does such a thing? So many smart ppl nowadays just believe in themselves. But this dude actually cries out to God. Simply amazing. I have to Trust God and cry out to Him.

Judges 7:2 (paraphased) - To God however: His power/strength is perfected- and glorified - in/ through our weakness.

I'm not the most competent guy really, i got to learn how to love God and believe that He can use me mightly.

Joel